My quest for a new life!

I am on a quest to change my life. I'm taking just about everything that is wrong in my life and changing it, mostly all at once. Here's what i'm doing

- money- i'm taking the financial peace university, and HOPING to change our really realy bad money situation.

- fitness- i'm walking again, loops around the culdesac.
- diet- yeah, not so much. HOping to get to this one when i'm not so darn stressed out!

- sleep reduction- covered! thanks to my twin alarm clocks.

-getting back into the Word- Yep! doing pretty well.

-intellectual- i'm listening to Bible lessons on the MP3 player while i walk. i hope to be able to read BOOKS again soon :-)

-marriage- have committed financially and timewise to a weekly date lunch with Andy, with just he, me, and the twins. it functions as our alone time and our parent/teacher conference time :)

-homeschooling- doing REALLY well so far this week. we arent' getting EVERYTHING i have planned done, but pretty close, and we are doing WAY better than last year despite having 2 newborns so i'm pretty excited!

church- i decided i was going to FORCE myself to GET OVER the issues i have with anotehr couple in our church and start going back to sunday school classes and other stuff and not try to avoid events that they might be at, which i did last year and it was a disaster.

Mental health- taking my PPD meds and working REALLY hard to not be suicidal. This post partum period has been REALLY hard, way harder than the others, and i've been having a lot of stray thoughts i can't get rid of but dr. P. upped my meds and i'm walking to maintain my natural highs or whatever, and Andy is keeping a close eye on me and i'm trying to keep busy enough NOT to think.

What else?! i know there is more? I know it sounds like biting off WAY more than i can chew, and i'm thinking it probably is, but after 4 mos on bedrest and another 2 on restriction from my csection, i have a PROFOUND need to get my life back together. And so far its working well. If you remember, could you pray for me? because a crash and burn at this point could be disastrous. But things are going well, and i TRUST that God would not bring me THIS far just to knock me out. kwim?? Here's my progress report for the last couple weeks. i'm COOKING again! like just about EVERY night! i'M SO proud of myself about that!!! i'm having my morning bible study and walking each morning pretty consistently, shooting for 5x a week, but at least 3 times a week, including last week, which was the first week of school, so not bad. I'm actually really looking forward to my walk, which gives me some much needed adult time, me and my mp3 player. I can listen to Cindy Rushton seminars, or Bible studies, or good upbeat Christian music. Its a good thing.

Life is an adventure. and that's where i'm at now, 2 months into the twin baby experience.

Today

The babies are 6 weeks old.. not exactly, just approximately. They are so precious. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom of twins, though it certainly has its caveats. Namely the sleep thing. But also the constancy of our extended morning feedings. Its just really quite BORING. But i'm doing my best to stay focused and think about the positive. There's SO MUCH positive. My little Asher and Ellie are so precious. They really like me a whole lot, which is so much fun after having the last 3 who were really daddy's boy/girls These ones just adore me, in fact when i go somewhere without them, Elliott gets really fussy, he just wants to be with me, which i didn't realize would be the case when bottle feeding. We breastfeed too, but supplement with formula, which i'm finding to be incredibly convenient. I'm being careful to nurse enough to not lose my milk supply because this winter in particular they could really use the antibodies. I'm getting really good at typing with a baby laying on my chest. it amazes me that less than 2 months ago they both lived inside of me, no WONDER i was so enormous! Now i'm grappling with serious body image issues. I lost like 60 some pounds, and i have a BAD case of twin skin, and feel really droopy and unattractive. I guess that just goes with the territory, and my hormones feel all whacked out, time to up the crazy pills i think :-)

Anyway, i'm scrapping up a storm lately, check out my scrappy blog http://shessomekindofcrazy.blogspot.com if you'd like to see what i've been making. Its such a stress reliever for me.

So let's see.. what's up with the babies? They just this last week grew out of all their newborn clothes and they wear size 1/2 diapers from costco or either 1 or 2 diapers from elsewhere... they both have these really unfortunate hairlines, they look like 45 year old men with no hair on top and fuzzy hair on the back and sides. Asher can roll from belly to back, has been for a couple weeks, and elliott can push up a LOT on my chest. I think because he's so LIGHT, especially compared to his brother! He's a fireball, he cries a lot more than Asher, and starts out in full panic mode, he doesn't work up to it, just all out WAIL from the getgo. Asher is much more laid back, he starts out like a normal baby whimpering, then slighly more, then more then WAIL! We've discovered we can't dress them the same if we want to know who they are... while we can tell them apart, we usually need to look pretty closely, so its very helpful to keep elliott in blue and asher in NOT blue.

Anyway, life is happening and i have got to run! getting ready to post more layouts to my scrappy blog.