Stuff...

Today was good. busy, but good. Teresa is here, and the kids, and its been so wonderful. i'm so sad that they are leaving tomorrow AM. I'm going to really miss C.J's toothless smile and Savannah's beautiful gentle spirit, and Taylor's cheerful perky disposition, and noodle's quiet steady soft cuteness and Lizzy's adorable pronunciation of words. They are like my kiddos... it still feels like i lost half my family. Teresa's ok too, LOL!!

Things have been fun but surreal. different, and exciting and a nice break. Tomorrow is going to be rough because my routine is OFF and my quiet time has been nonexistant, haven't been walking, getting back into the swing of things is going to be really really hard. And i'm scared. I still feel like i'm teetering along the side of a cliff. I'll feel totaly fine and then something will come up and will remind me of something i just want to be DONE with. i really wish we could move, just move and start over. But we can't so here i am! I just have to keep breathing in and out and putting one step in front of the other.

Anyway, someday things will be ok, i'm sure of that! so i'm just going to wait for someday and until then just soak it in, all of it, love, pain, fear, nausea, what ever it is, bring it ON! and breathe...