Thursday, August 6, 2009

2 weeks old and one day

So much is going on with us now... Grandpa had to go back to Minnesota... SNIFF... it was so wonderful having him here. It always is, he's an outstanding houseguest. He's helpful, courteous, etc. But this time in particular... WOW. Anyway, he left yesterday morning, and that was hard, but we are doing ok. The babies are still sleeping most of the time. they wake up a few times a night to eat, which is totally normal, but the one who's REALLY having sleeping issues is Leif. He's having a heck of a time with everything.

As for me, i'm doing OK. I'm really trying hard not to stress about him going back to work next wednesday... even though i think i might just not survive that!!! I'm HUGELY hormonal lately and am finding myself frequently in a panic, and also fairly frequently crying about nothing at all. Its insane. CONSCIOUSLY i know none of this is helping anything at all, but its so overwhelming. I am hoping it will level off soon. I'm also really self conscious lately.. i've lost 58 lbs this pregnancy, between being sick and my new gestational diabetic diet, i get the priviledge of stepping on the scale each morning to find i'm a lb or two lighter than the last :-) very cool. However, i feel like even though the scale indicates i've lost weight, that i really don't look any better at all. You can see it in my face but come on! my face was the only part of me that DIDN'T need to lose weight!!! Andy insists that i have, and that he can tell, and he insists i'm not hideous, But i totally feel like it right now with the whole hanging belly skin. BLECH.

One thing that is really striking me lately is the importance of not taking a single moment for granted and not wishing away something in favor of what seems like something better coming later.. I'm trying to not even wish it was payday, because there's so much in the moment to enjoy. I think these guys are probably my last babies and that makes me really sad in a way, but more so, it makes me resolved to enjoy every second of their babyhood. Its all such an amazing gift and that reality is NOT lost on me. I GET that and i really want to be the kind of person who can appreciate and enjoy that. So anyway, so many thoughts flying around in my head, had to capture a few of them on blog... off to bathe myself and hopefully the little guys!

1 comment:

Heather said...

I hear you on the sagging belly skin and unfortunately without a tummy tuck or some such thing, I think we are stuck with that. It is such GREAT news that you lost 58 pounds though! Even if it is hard for you to see a difference, it will be wonderful for your overall health and such in the long run. You are NOT hideous and you are a WONDERFUL mommy to your kiddos!! Keep up the good work and call if you ever need some encouragement or just to talk to someone who understands the craziness of the 1st year with twins! Our oldest (2 1/2 when the twins were born) ALSO had a rough adjusting time to the twins. I can share with you some of our experience there too. It is a process, but Leif will adjust in time. Pray that God will give you wisdom to reach his little heart right now and He will guide you. :)