Today i'm up and i'm starting over. i need to get up so i can have some time to wake up in peace without people demanding stuff of me. Had a BIG argument with andy about that yesterday and I don't want to revisit THAT. So I think the only way to resolve this situation is to sacrifice sleep to make it happen, which i'm actually not supposed to, since i'm supposed to sleep a good amount at night to keep the PPD at bay, but i'm hoping this will at least spur me on to having a decent bedtime. The nighttime with its quietness is so intoxicating for me.
Anyway, during my Bible study this morning, i realized that i have to FOCUS on the race. If i spend my whole life lamenting that my mommy doesn't love me that's all i'll be able to think about. I have to move on. And that's hard, but what can I do about it? NOTHING, so might as well pick myself up and move on, keeping the whole situation marinated in prayer.
So, that is what i shall do. Now, the day is at hand, and there's much to be done. I'm about to catch a webinar on teaching math, and at 10 i have a dr. appt, me, and the twins. We are then meeting Amy and JoAnn in Auburn for a park playdate, and at SOME point i really need to order birthday cake for the twins and their own individual cupcakes, at Costco and QFC respectively.
I'm thinking we will have salmon chowder for dinner tonight if i can get it in the crockpot in time.