Wednesday, October 13, 2010

It is what it is

So here it is, Wednesday, October 13th. on the upswing from what i think is a sinus infection and a massive case of vertigo. spent the whole day in bed yesterday other than an ill advised but thankfully short drive to safeway to procure all the groceries we'd need for a while with a TON of coupons, and i escaped that trip both without killing anyone AND within the impossible budget, SCORE! So now i'm waiting to go pick up alex who is hopefully taking his PSAT test, despite the fact that he forgot both his pencils AND his cheat sheet i made for him yesterday which gave him explicit directions on what he was to do, ie. arrive at 7:15, check in at the office, go to room 202, etc. I am baffled as to what i can possibly do to help this child more. I know that many truly brilliant people had/have trouble functioning on a daily basis, but i'd really hoped i could help alex get over this massive flakyness. And yes, he gets it from me, which is a bummer. And yes, i still have nightmares about forgetting my locker combination and other various flaky person issues. So while one CAN live a functional life, it still has long term effects. And that's just being a smart person, i'm NOT brilliant like him. Yikes.

So we'd been expecting my bff and her family to come stay with us for the weekend, and its looking like that's not happening, which is badly messing with the OCD side of my brain, and making me a little crazy, and sad. Its our 16th anniversary friday and i was hoping to celebrate with our "God family" Oh well. Maybe we'll try to find a sitter for sometime this weekend and go out just the two of us instead. Date night is LONG overdue and hard to get. I have a friend who babysits for a reasonable rate but even reasonable isn't doable most of the time right now. I'm trying to constantly remind myself that the financial situation isn't permanent, and the baby situation isn't permanent, but they are both making life feel really bleak right now. My Neighbor keeps reminding me that the babies won't be whacked out forever, and she's right. But i'm tired.


Heather said...

I recognize the whacked out baby feelings for sure!!!It does get better, but I know it is hard to see that right now. Try to focus on one task at a time and not look too far ahead (it can get overwhelming). I find if I can pray without ceasing throughout the day and find joy in the mundane that the crazyness doesn't seem so horrible. :) Love to you!

Rebecca Kvenvolden said...

Thanks! love you heather, you are AWESOME!