Thursday, May 14, 2009

a great marriage building blog

I came across this blog, and thought you'd all benefit from it. When you sign up, you get emails when there's a post and you get the free ebook, which is excellent! plus the blog is bite sized, a little each day, very manageable.

As you may or may not know, this last anniversary, October 15th marked a dramatic point for me of "**** or get off the pot" in my marriage. Something had come up and things had gotten twisted in ways i never could have imagined and I found myself with my own "eye candy man" as the ebook from the above source described. Now, really, that might not be the best descriptor because while he was attractive, he'd not be the guy you'd pick out on the street and say, "WOOHHWEEE! let's get a piece of THAT!" if you know what i mean. It was more a heart thing... he spoke to me in such a deep way that to say the least, it was REALLY hard to let go of a really twisted and WRONG dream that had developed in me, and hold on to my marriage and my family. But I made that choice, and i put my faith in God to help me get through the coming months and years and lifetime that would follow, and HOPE that dh would be merciful to me.

And i have to say, BOTH God and Andy have come through for me in profound ways. First God gave me the strength to keep on going when i felt like my life was OVER. Andy, instead of being bitter, angry and entitled, like "I" would have been, he was gentle, attentive, merciful, and went out of his way to pay attention to my needs and make sure he was being the best husband he could. It has been 7 months tomorrow, and there's still after affects that are difficult to deal with. But i have to say that my life has changed so much. There are definately scars. I don't look at men the same way, with the same innocence as before. I KNOW that ANY one of them has the potential to become an inappropriate relationship and as a result I keep my distance. However, overall, i've changed for the better, and my LIFE has changed for the better in ways i never could have comprehended. I mean come on! I'm expecting TWINS this summer!! "2" new lives that may never have existed had things gone differently. WOW! That totally blows my mind. Life is not easy now, not by any stretch, my budget makes me cry, my van is downright scary to drive sometimes, and i honestly don't know how i'm going to deal with the birth situation, but life IS exactly what it was SUPPOSED to be, and that gives me peace and strength.

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