Monday, October 6, 2008


Today on my morning walk, i realized i'd reached that point where i could feel my legs being stronger than the week before. That is SO cool, it happened last time i was walking consistantly when Teresa still was here. What an encouragement. Plus i was priviledged to walk during just the very beginning of sunrise... Of course its hard to see, since where i live is blanketed with a thick covering of pine trees... so i could just barely see a tinge of pink peeking up through the trees. It was inspiring and a reminder of God's presence. At the same time it was a slightly melancholy moment. The romantic in me thought, how nice it would be to do this walk hand in hand with the man i love. And i wonder where that man has gone. Its like he's replaced with an angry version. Ahh well... Someday perhaps. Its hard to even think about how alone i am right now. If i think too hard, i don't think i'd ever stop crying, because "alone" is NOT me. I want my best friend back, and i want my husband back. But wanting doesn't make it so. I'm stuck. But heck, I'll count my blessings for what they are. Today i'm going to focus on others, and not on myself... maybe i'll even start my gratitude journal today. But overall i think that the key to not being overwhelmed with self is to focus on being a blessing to others. That's the only thing i've found to satisfy. Anyhow.. another day.... And i'm going to make the most of it.

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