SLACKER!!!

wow... i can't believe its been a month since i've posted! Well, actually, i can. Its been Chaos here. With a fedex driver dh the whole christmas season is a nightmare and i'm SO GLAD its passed! Anyhow, Today is my sweet Nikolas' 11th birthday. I can't believe its been so long. He's growing in to such a wonderful young man. I'm so blessed to have him! PLease join me in praying for this little guy's life and future that he might grow to be a Godly man, and might touch the lives of all he comes into contact with in an amazing way!

The second thing i wanted to talk about today is blessings. Last night Dh prompted a discussion at the dinner table about what we were thankful for, which seemed odd to me, being Christmas, not thanksgiving, but its never the wrong day to be thankful, so i thought hard about it, and what i came up with is that I'm thankful for the blessings that God provides that we 1. don't know about. or 2. don't realize are blessings at the time, like say... me getting pregnant with ALEX well before planned, and 3. blessings that you know are blessings but don't know the depth of that blessing. The most ready example of that is the twins. We THOUGHT we had been blessed with a new baby growing in me for Christmas last year, and we were SORT of right! What we didn't know is obvious now! that we had not one but TWO babies on the way!!! I wonder how many blessings we recieve that we don't even KNOW the magnitude of that we may not come to discover till months or years later or maybe never? it just reminded me how bountifully our Lord blesses us!!

Fun times!!

Yesterday was about the funnest day in AGES! Andy came home at like 9:30, they had too many people scheduled so they let him leave early (YAY!! till we get next week's paycheck anyway!) and so we went out with just the twins and went to get my bloodwork done, HUGE long wait, and then went out for greek pizza buffet, at the former "its greek to me" which now has become "Viggianos" and isn't nearly as good... oh well. I was just as pleased as punch just to be able to TALK to my hubby. ITs been a rough stretch lately. then we ran some errands and went SHOPPING! woohoo! to Target with a gift card i still had from my baby shower. We bought a new scrabble, ours is thrashed, and hungry hungry hippos for thanksgiving, and a few other things. and finally we went home. We had all of about an hour before heading off to our evening appointment at the dr's for the twins and my crazy mama appt.

The twins were doing well, aside from Elliott having some rattle in his chest, so the Dr. put him on liquid albuterol, which i've been told is wretched, but so far doesn't seem to be causing him any side affects that i can see. My meds got upped, which is probably a good thing. Andy doesn't like the side effects so much. He was like, "She DOUBLED that wretched medication?!?" Did i ever mention how much I LOVE our doctor? She is so awesomely family friendly, has a cute little practice out of a converted house, they always have Christian music playing and the receptionist, her sister is such a sweetie.. Not to mention Dr. herself! They are like family to us. SO COOL! I find i'm really appreciating the "God given family" connections we've been blessed with.

Speaking of which i'm trying REALLY hard to have a good attitude about Thanksgiving! (to be thankful?!) its such a depressing time for me, since its just us. NOW, i know there's a LOT of us, and i shouldn't have an attitude, and its my job to be thankful in every circumstance. And i am, i'm just a bit melancholic remembering how Thanksgiving was when i was a kid with HUGE extended family get togethers, and even just a few years ago when our best friends the Matz' hosted at their church and we had SO much fun. What an amazing time of fellowship, and food and games... sigh.. so i'm determined to NOT let my attitude rub off on everyone else. Its NOT fair to them, and i know i'm still quite a bit down with the PPD AND my meds being increased means i'm going to be a bit wonky for a while. So if i am cry-ish, i'm going to hide out and do my best to put on a happy face.

So this is me for now! i have done a TON of layouts, i really need to post to my scrappy blog! Typing time is at a premium lately..

later..
R

Sick little twinnies....

Ugg.. they have the really bad cough again, asher has the eye boogers again. Thankfully their well baby check is tomorrow anyway. And thankfully we have little planned this week! last week was a DOOZY. I'm kind of zombified right now too... Seriously, Elena from MOPS called last night wondering if i was going to be coming tomorrow to help with thanksgiving baskets and my mind went totally blank and i was like... no... i can't come.. i have school with the kids... LOL. I must have sounded so DUMB! The correct answer was "No, i can't come, i have sick babies and don't want to bring them out more than necessary." But my brain was so obliterated from being up nursing the little buggers all night last night that intelligent thought just escapes me! SERIOUSLY, its BAD! i was at my Dave Ramsey class last night and was trying to articulate WHY the lesson was not coming from a Christian worldview, and i sounded like a moron. ugg. It will be nice to get my brain back.

Anyhow, an update on the little guys- At 4 mos old, Asher is coming in at a whopping 18 lbs 10 oz and Elliott is 17 lbs 3 oz. They are so precious and sweet and normally sleep really well. When they aren't coughing themselves awake they have been sleeping through the night for quite a while now. They have started noticing each other's presence and Elliott has MUCH better hand eye coordination and likes to hold asher's hand. Asher seems to appreciate that too but has a much harder time grasping elliott's hand, though he did get his thigh in a headlock and suck on his toes once. Here's a pic, its super cute

And while i'm at it, here's their 3 month portrait. Asher is on the left, and elliott on the right

So... that's about it... they are starting to fuss, think its bottle time (for a change, LOL!!!!)
R

stuff...

So I was thinking the past few days... never around a computer, YIKES, i should go delete that last post, and pretty much decided to do so, but then i thought, NO. Because the PURPOSE of this blog, one of them anyway, i also really appreciate the opportunity to unload, but the primary purpose of this blog is to share how God is working in my life, and God works in my life in ways that are not only positive but are negative, and scary and sad, and wrong. I don't mean that God's work is this way but the events in my life and the feelings they provoke. I think that is what makes my life so much of an amazing testimony to the power of God, that i AM so imperfect and prone to making mistakes! i have NO problem putting that out there, becuase its not ME that deserves the praise. I SO often get comments, well, bazillions of them in every possible type, but one thing i get a lot is "wow... you must be so.. (insert adjective here- Patient, etc.) and my reply is that NO! you can tell how much God is working on me by virtue of the fact that he gave me 7 children!! Its crucial that I, and YOU and everyone, maintains a right view of what is going on in your life. Triumphs are due to GOD ALONE. I can say definitively that it is NOT I that has caused success in my life. I didn't even KNOW what success looked like! i THOUGHT success was being a high powered attorney. God has given me the gift of being a good communicator. I'm good at articulating my thoughts, particularily in writing, and in arguing, picking out logical fallacies, etc, and being a lawyer SEEMED like the right course of action for a future career, but God quickly showed me otherwise- (Andy and Alex) And since then, its become clear to me that my skills are WELL utilized by being a mom, teacher and manager of our home. I think people seem to think that only stupid people would stay home and raise their children. I think that's why so many people consider raising children to be an afterthought.
Ie. "what do you do?"
"OH, i'm a bank teller"
Now, logically, this person would have MUCH greater impact in her mothering than as a bank teller, (no offense to bank teller's intended!) but women still tend to identify themselves with their PAID job, not their most IMPORTANT job. Anyway, while my job may not pay very well now, the payoff of 7 well balanced Christ centered, law abiding adults will be HUGE! (and i fully expect a WHOLE LOTTA GRANDCHILDREN! woohoo!)

So now i must go, and i didn't even GET to my original planned typing- wanted to talk about church today. But that will have to wait till later because i can't spend all afternoon on the computer and i haven't even checked my email! whew, busy sunday!

Slow fade

I saw this video on facebook and it blew me away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-8SYA6rfbs

Watch it- its worth your 5 minutes. It was really close to home for me because i've been there. Except it wasn't dh, it was me.

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, there's a time period about a year ago when i completely fell apart. My life was crumbling, and it wasn't a good time to talk about it, but i'm ready now. I'm sharing my story because if you don't think it could happen to you, you are WRONG. It could happen to anyone, and i know this, because it happened to me. That's not to say that i have delusions of being this perfect person, i DON'T! However, i DO strive to serve the Lord in all that i do. I've made that choice to sacrifice MY will to being a servant to others and to God, and i take that VERY seriously. And i can testify to the fact that this can happen to ANYONE.

Our family was close to another family we knew and had a lot in common with. We did so much together, we had so much in common and became quick friends. It wasn't long before things started to change. My relationship with Andy started to deteriorate. He was going through things in his life that were hard and instead of realizing he was having depressive issues and needed help, i took his coldness and distance personally and thought it was about me. At the same time, the male person in the couple we'd become close friends with was validating me, and we talked a lot and developed a close friendship. We talked about our marriage issues (um, WRONG!! alarm bell should have been sounding big time here!!) I didn't realize at that time that you can NOT be close friends with a member of the opposite sex when you are married, you just can't.

I started to really look forward to his phone calls, and that was my first clue that something was WRONG, but i ignored it. Truth be told, i LIKED it and didn't really want things to change. Teresa was there for me the whole time, and from the time i called her and told her the unspeakable, she was there replacing my irrational thoughts with TRUTH. She was one of the people i credit with saving my life, literally, because when it all came out, i was NOT interested in life much at all.

I knew that i had to make a choice one way or another because no matter how cruddy i thought Andy was at this point, he sure did deserve better than this. So i told him. At that point he was watching me like a hawk, understandably, and things just got worse and worse. Everything came to a head on our 14th anniversary, when andy showed up home early from work with a dozen roses, a starbucks and a beautiful card. at this point i realized- this man LOVES ME. And you know what? i love him too! we have 5 beautiful children together, we can work this out. And i told him i was willing to surrender my life to him and completely end whatever twisted relationship i had going on with this other guy. We went for a LONG walk and talked and talked. And that further cemented my choice.

That afternoon, i met with the other guy, and the unspoken became spoken and i told him that i had strong feelings for him but i needed to choose my family. The fact is that when you have 2 spouses and 8 children between two couples, you just don't have the luxury of being able to make whatever choice you want, because it ISN'T all about you anymore!! It was weird- really really WEIRD, and that sucked. And what sucked more, is that he immediately told his wife. and that REALLY REALLY sucked because it turned my whole life into one awkward mess. We were a LOT of places at the same time, and it had become one mess of weirdness. I finally told a mutual friend, that i REALLY thought was going to hate my guts when i told her the truth, and she was THERE for me every step of the way she was so sensitive and kind, and loving. She is what a true Christian is, loving in the face of sin.

So then i ended up going to MOPS which was a whole nother God-thing, but i don't have long to type so i'll keep it short, and i was placed at my friend Stacy's table. She immediately struck me as someone who knew what she was talking about i could tell immediately that she was a believer. Our table went out on mom's nights and eventually i told the ladies at my table what happened, and Stacy in particular, since she often gave me rides places. I was a MESS. I had pretty much given up on life and felt overwhelmingly like a complete failure. I felt unforgivable, unlovable, betrayed, angry, just a litany of destructive emotions. Stacy spoke TRUTH to me and managed to convince me that i was NOT unforgivable, that none of what i'd told myself repeatedly was true and that God had a purpose for even all this, that SOME day i could use all that to glorify HIM. WOW, what a breath of fresh air, and truth be told, it took me a while to absorb and believe it. Really, lots of others had tried to tell me the same things, but my thoughts focused only on those telling me that i was rotten. It was hard to hear that i was simply a person who made a MISTAKE.

There's still aftermath to all that going down. I got pregnant a month later (surprise! and then a few months later found it it was TWINS! (DOUBLE surprise!) and so our life has again shifted into the realm of the insane unknown but what has changed is my attitude. I KNOW now that God is with me, I thank him every day for providing those people that helped me through this time period and acknowledge HIM as the one who provided those gems and kept me alive when i very much didn't want to be, and as being the one who out of the mess of my marriage created not one but TWO immortal souls. WOW! I have been trying to apologize for a while to the woman who's husband i coveted and its not going well, but i suppose i'll keep trying, and keep in perspective how I'D feel, were the tables turned. I'm just trying to do the right thing, and its still really hard because the negative thoughts still come up, and i have to remind myself WHO i am. Its a struggle, but i'm pressing on. And Stacy was right, this CAN and WILL be used to as a testimony of what our God can do.

how things are going

First, i need to point out my wonderfully brilliant son, Alex, helped to put together the super cute scrolling family icon thingy on the side of the page, after a tutorial posted by Lucy Chesna on facebook. Thanks Lucy! Thanks Alex! super cute! really had to crunch those little people in there, LOL, gotta love having a big family, its a bit like real life :-D

Ok, so anyway, things are going pretty well.. after gettin ga brief but nasty cold on monday, i took my cold calm all day and by yesterday was feeling much better. Today i'm pretty much back to normal but am still taking it easy. I think my new meds are working. Its been a week now and i'm not as absent minded, i'm not crying nearly as much and i'm not having the problem where i forget what i did 5 minutes prior. Seriously, i was really stressing out because i had to dump several bottles of formula because after doing the first scoop, i couldn't remember if i'd done 2 scoops or just 1. i also was having issues remembering if i'd taken my meds or not, so i'm glad that my new meds come on pages that you break one out, so i can do the math if i think i've forgotten. This PPD has been so weird! Anyway, i'm doing much better, and while i'm still really emotional i'm doing better. I'm taking the rest of the week off school and trying to get the house in order. Today the goal is decluttering. and scrapping. :-)

new plan of attack.

Ok, so my old plan of trying to improve every aspect of my life simultaneously has completely crashed and burned, so I decided to take the rest of the week off from school and just focus on taking care of myself and the babies. I don't think andy is particularly pleased about that but its totally necessary. I need time for the new meds to start to work. And i'm prepared to do the same next week if necessary. I'm making sure i'm doing my walking every day, my Bible study every day, and everything else is frosting. Well, not entirely, i am keeping up with cooking, which is surprisingly easy not being on bedrest anymore, and am not loosening up on finances and bargain shopping because we can't afford to. Finances are also at crisis point so i'm dealing with crises and letting non crises go right now. I feel totally justified in that because our school year has so far gone BETTER than any other year, despite having 4 to teach, a 3yo human tornado, and newborn twins. So its all good, we'll just hold our 6 week schedule for next week and it will be fine. So anyway, i have a new plan and i'm feeling confident. OH and today walking, my side didn't hurt until 11 minutes in, unlike the usual 8 :-)

today

my meds aren't working. So my dr. prescribed new ones. We shall see... i've been totally whacked out lately.. really super confused. I try to say one thing, and something else comes out. I don't know what the date is, even the month usually, and i'm having a really hard time reading people. I feel like i'm losing my mind. My dr. said it could either be the post partum depression itself or the meds i'm taking so i started on a different class of meds, the ones similar to effexor, which worked well last time, This one is called pristiq. Hoping it works, i'm really wonky lately. I'm going to try to chill out a little and not expect so much from myself, My strategy of turning my life around singlehandedly in one week isn't working so well, and i just feel like a failure at everything. Hoping today is a better day than yesterday, and tomorrow is a better day than today...

today

i am very excited, I finished Numbers yesterday and will begin 1st Corinthians tomorrow, or monday. i'm doing a "read through the Bible" book, and started at genesis and acts concurrently, because really, after getting through the exodus segment, you really need a pick me up! LOL. But its going really well and the Lord has blessed me greatly. I totally think that's why i'm surviving this time in my life. Whenever i'm up in time Bible time comes first, even before walking, which i used to do first, to wake myself up more, but the symbolism got the better of me and now i do the Bible study first. So anyway, If you are not currently reading through the Bible, i highly recommend starting!! i'm using "Today's light Bible, a 2 year journey through the Bible" and really like it.

So what's up... the babies are sick. they have the flu and Asher is getting pink eye too :-( I hope i'm not getting it too, i woke up this morning and my eyes hurt and were red and watery. Of course its allergy season so they are ALWAYS red, watery and hurt, so we shall see! think i need to take Asher to the dr. today. I am very very bummed because we'd planned to have a new friend and her family over tonight. She's from the multiples group and is expecting TRIPLETS in the winter, and she already has 4 kids. We have a TON in common and i was really looking forward to this time of fellowship. But getting the flu could be deadly for her and since my kiddos are always glomming on the babies, chances are very good they'll be coming down with it in a few days and its not worth the risk to possibly infect Heather and/or her family.

So that's my sob story for the day. Its a pretty busy one. I'm up now with Elliott, who, strangely enough was the one nursing all night.. Asher slept really well. I'm noticing he's a "sleep a lot and be obscure" kind of sick kid, much like Alex, and not a whiny, "take care of me all the time" sick like Nikolas. Anyway, Andy is at Mens' breakfast at church and i'm getting ready to trade places with him, at 10 i've got L-Team training. I'm going to be hosting a scrapbooking L-Team at our church. Which i'm very much looking forward to.

That reminds me, i got into a scrapbooking fight with andy last night :-( haven't had one of those in a super long time... he thought i was ignoring him :-( i was just so darn babied out that i REALLY needed some creative time. I felt bad to make him feel neglected, but i was SO wiggin out.. and after I made a layout, i felt SO much better... sigh... i so wish i could balance it all better. Its really hard having 2 babies because they alternate schedules mostly, and there's always someone in my face! especially when they are sick, its very trying. :-(

OH and more good news!! Alex casually asked me last night if i thought we'd qualify now for Habitat for Humanity, and i was like, no, probably not, but i'll go check... Well, i did and we DO!! as long as utilities are factored into housing costs (that makes our housing costs above the 30% gross, though i think we'd still be over with just rent too) so HOPEFULLY, we'll go to an information session about that next saturday morning.

Well that's about it, and Nik is up, so i'm about to get my ear talked off :-) which is a good thing. I like that one :-) I hope whoever is reading this has a very blessed weekend.

the latest...

Just posting a basic status update...

Things are going pretty well, not as well as i'd like but i'll take Heather's suggestion (thanks girl! you are AWESOME!) and praise the Lord for allowing me to progress as much as i have, even if its not where i WANT to be. i'd ask that anyone who is willing continue to pray for me. i'm having some relational issues, that i really cant' get into, and i think i might be having mood issues as well. Not sure the meds are working very well.

I've had the most chaotic, manic depressive weekened EVER! just the widest range imaginable.. First, i went to the new member's tea for the Tacoma parents of multiples club, which was AWESOME, except that i didn't realize we were supposed to come SANS babies! OOPS! i was the ONLY one that brought the babies, aak! i felt so awkward and embarrased. BUT i got to connect with another mom who is expecting triplets and already has 4, and i feel like we have a ton in common and it was nice for her and her dh and me and MY dh to get to hang out and talk! So overall a great experience! THEN, my dh took me to the brand spankin new scrapbook store in Tacoma! which was gorgeous. What a great experience to actually TOUCH the products you see online. its amazing how different they can be than the pictures. Usually different in the sense of BETTER, as far as weight, texture, etc. Color is really only a small part of the experience.

So anyway, who do you suppose i ran into at the LSS?!?! Only THE HEIDI GRACE!!!! WAY! i swear! i so wish i had my camera! but she'll be at the open house on the 24th, as well as teaching a class i think so i'll be looking forward to that! How exciting! i also inquired as to if they were looking for design team members and instructors, both of which were YES's so i just need to bring in some samples and might possibly get to be on the team, which would be fantastic.

So then we went home, back to our house with a TON of work to be done... this was the beginning of the bad part... I worked super hard, didn't get to scrap at ALL the entire weekend, and barely got a dent made. We decided we were going to work on the yard as family time, and that sorta morphed into cleaning out the truck and then working on the lawn so very little got done. Besides that, the babies were being difficult so andy couldn't help and the kids have been very difficult and minimally hepful lately, and i was just out in teh back yard, bawling my eyes out, overwhelmed, alone, frustrated... THIS is what happens when i don't take time to scrap. I feel like a machine and cry all the time. LESSON LEARNED! ugg... i just need to deal with the house being a mess and move on!!

There's lots of things i have to learn to deal with and one of them is dealing with people not liking me. WHY WHY WHY is it such a big deal to me?! i have NO clue, but there's a particular person that i used to be friends with who very clearly does NOT like me and its obvious there's no changing that on my part. The thing is i did something to hurt her and have tried to apologize but i don't think she cares and that's it. Our relationship is over and i just have to move on and try to just ignore the weirdness. I hate the weirdness. Oh well.. such is life. I'm hoping for a CALMER week this week, and i'm coming to a place where i'll gladly take BORING over happy exciting coupled with devastatingly sad.

My quest for a new life!

I am on a quest to change my life. I'm taking just about everything that is wrong in my life and changing it, mostly all at once. Here's what i'm doing

- money- i'm taking the financial peace university, and HOPING to change our really realy bad money situation.

- fitness- i'm walking again, loops around the culdesac.
- diet- yeah, not so much. HOping to get to this one when i'm not so darn stressed out!

- sleep reduction- covered! thanks to my twin alarm clocks.

-getting back into the Word- Yep! doing pretty well.

-intellectual- i'm listening to Bible lessons on the MP3 player while i walk. i hope to be able to read BOOKS again soon :-)

-marriage- have committed financially and timewise to a weekly date lunch with Andy, with just he, me, and the twins. it functions as our alone time and our parent/teacher conference time :)

-homeschooling- doing REALLY well so far this week. we arent' getting EVERYTHING i have planned done, but pretty close, and we are doing WAY better than last year despite having 2 newborns so i'm pretty excited!

church- i decided i was going to FORCE myself to GET OVER the issues i have with anotehr couple in our church and start going back to sunday school classes and other stuff and not try to avoid events that they might be at, which i did last year and it was a disaster.

Mental health- taking my PPD meds and working REALLY hard to not be suicidal. This post partum period has been REALLY hard, way harder than the others, and i've been having a lot of stray thoughts i can't get rid of but dr. P. upped my meds and i'm walking to maintain my natural highs or whatever, and Andy is keeping a close eye on me and i'm trying to keep busy enough NOT to think.

What else?! i know there is more? I know it sounds like biting off WAY more than i can chew, and i'm thinking it probably is, but after 4 mos on bedrest and another 2 on restriction from my csection, i have a PROFOUND need to get my life back together. And so far its working well. If you remember, could you pray for me? because a crash and burn at this point could be disastrous. But things are going well, and i TRUST that God would not bring me THIS far just to knock me out. kwim?? Here's my progress report for the last couple weeks. i'm COOKING again! like just about EVERY night! i'M SO proud of myself about that!!! i'm having my morning bible study and walking each morning pretty consistently, shooting for 5x a week, but at least 3 times a week, including last week, which was the first week of school, so not bad. I'm actually really looking forward to my walk, which gives me some much needed adult time, me and my mp3 player. I can listen to Cindy Rushton seminars, or Bible studies, or good upbeat Christian music. Its a good thing.

Life is an adventure. and that's where i'm at now, 2 months into the twin baby experience.

Today

The babies are 6 weeks old.. not exactly, just approximately. They are so precious. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom of twins, though it certainly has its caveats. Namely the sleep thing. But also the constancy of our extended morning feedings. Its just really quite BORING. But i'm doing my best to stay focused and think about the positive. There's SO MUCH positive. My little Asher and Ellie are so precious. They really like me a whole lot, which is so much fun after having the last 3 who were really daddy's boy/girls These ones just adore me, in fact when i go somewhere without them, Elliott gets really fussy, he just wants to be with me, which i didn't realize would be the case when bottle feeding. We breastfeed too, but supplement with formula, which i'm finding to be incredibly convenient. I'm being careful to nurse enough to not lose my milk supply because this winter in particular they could really use the antibodies. I'm getting really good at typing with a baby laying on my chest. it amazes me that less than 2 months ago they both lived inside of me, no WONDER i was so enormous! Now i'm grappling with serious body image issues. I lost like 60 some pounds, and i have a BAD case of twin skin, and feel really droopy and unattractive. I guess that just goes with the territory, and my hormones feel all whacked out, time to up the crazy pills i think :-)

Anyway, i'm scrapping up a storm lately, check out my scrappy blog http://shessomekindofcrazy.blogspot.com if you'd like to see what i've been making. Its such a stress reliever for me.

So let's see.. what's up with the babies? They just this last week grew out of all their newborn clothes and they wear size 1/2 diapers from costco or either 1 or 2 diapers from elsewhere... they both have these really unfortunate hairlines, they look like 45 year old men with no hair on top and fuzzy hair on the back and sides. Asher can roll from belly to back, has been for a couple weeks, and elliott can push up a LOT on my chest. I think because he's so LIGHT, especially compared to his brother! He's a fireball, he cries a lot more than Asher, and starts out in full panic mode, he doesn't work up to it, just all out WAIL from the getgo. Asher is much more laid back, he starts out like a normal baby whimpering, then slighly more, then more then WAIL! We've discovered we can't dress them the same if we want to know who they are... while we can tell them apart, we usually need to look pretty closely, so its very helpful to keep elliott in blue and asher in NOT blue.

Anyway, life is happening and i have got to run! getting ready to post more layouts to my scrappy blog.

update

Well, i'm taking a break from the screaminess for a while, and socking my poor dh with the responsibilities as I am in serious need of downtime. This happens occasionally, and i think it really can't be helped. I've never been a person who needed much if any quiet, but i'm definately THERE!! after constant noise, and with 2 babies, crying is MUCH more frequent than with any of my other babies just because the logistics of getting their needs both met is difficult.

So anyway, the twins are 4 weeks old yesterday, and they are sweet and precious... seriously, they are amazing. I'm so glad we were blessed with them. I need to make a dr. appointment since one of them has thrush i think. UGG- gross. I am so hoping i can just bring the ONE in, and get a prescription for all 3 of us, the double copays are getting OLD! Nursing is NOT much fun right now. I'm super sore. I don't think its due to the potential thrush, just from nursing so darn much and i tend to get really sore with ONE baby, I'm trying really hard to talk myself into continuing nursing, which i'm having a difficult time convincing myself of right now. But for now anyway, i'm toughing it out, even though it feels like that's ALL i do these days..

I am so emotional lately, and i'm pretty sure its normal hormonalness, i'm on my PPD meds, and they seem to be working for the most part, so that's good, no distorted thoughts, etc, which is good. I've had ppd progressively worse with each child so with them being my 6th and 7th and both together, i was very concerned. I'm looking forward to hitting 6 weeks so i can start exercising again. I lost 65 lbs but now i'm up like 5 lbs from my lowest weight :-( which is not cool. NOT impressed with that, but what can i do. Anyway, for the most part, twins is REALLY not all that hard, its not as hard as you'd imagine 2 babies. The hardest part is trying to meet their needs both at the same time. When we have a good routine, life is much smoother, i wake them up (they still sleep a LOT) every 3 hours, but i don't wake them at the same time, like i'll wake up whoever is stirring more, change his diaper, and feed him, then a bit later wake up the other one and change and feed him. Or sometimes i'll breastfeed one and bottle feed the other simultaneously, and if i'm REALLY ambitious i'll breast feed both with my crazy nursing pillow. Oh and at night, i let them sleep as much as possible. Though, I will sometimes wake up the second one when the first one wakes up. Anyway, i'm exhausted and rambling on like an idiot, like i tend to do when i'm exhausted.... sigh... tomorrow is going to go smoother, i'm convinced of it. And this weekend, i'm going to buy D batteries for the swing, since it just ran out... sigh...

Elliott's birth page

I'm going to post both here and on my scrappy blog.... i SCRAPPED yesterday! AWESOME! i was so needing a creative outlet! And i really like how this one turned out!

2 weeks old and one day

So much is going on with us now... Grandpa had to go back to Minnesota... SNIFF... it was so wonderful having him here. It always is, he's an outstanding houseguest. He's helpful, courteous, etc. But this time in particular... WOW. Anyway, he left yesterday morning, and that was hard, but we are doing ok. The babies are still sleeping most of the time. they wake up a few times a night to eat, which is totally normal, but the one who's REALLY having sleeping issues is Leif. He's having a heck of a time with everything.

As for me, i'm doing OK. I'm really trying hard not to stress about him going back to work next wednesday... even though i think i might just not survive that!!! I'm HUGELY hormonal lately and am finding myself frequently in a panic, and also fairly frequently crying about nothing at all. Its insane. CONSCIOUSLY i know none of this is helping anything at all, but its so overwhelming. I am hoping it will level off soon. I'm also really self conscious lately.. i've lost 58 lbs this pregnancy, between being sick and my new gestational diabetic diet, i get the priviledge of stepping on the scale each morning to find i'm a lb or two lighter than the last :-) very cool. However, i feel like even though the scale indicates i've lost weight, that i really don't look any better at all. You can see it in my face but come on! my face was the only part of me that DIDN'T need to lose weight!!! Andy insists that i have, and that he can tell, and he insists i'm not hideous, But i totally feel like it right now with the whole hanging belly skin. BLECH.

One thing that is really striking me lately is the importance of not taking a single moment for granted and not wishing away something in favor of what seems like something better coming later.. I'm trying to not even wish it was payday, because there's so much in the moment to enjoy. I think these guys are probably my last babies and that makes me really sad in a way, but more so, it makes me resolved to enjoy every second of their babyhood. Its all such an amazing gift and that reality is NOT lost on me. I GET that and i really want to be the kind of person who can appreciate and enjoy that. So anyway, so many thoughts flying around in my head, had to capture a few of them on blog... off to bathe myself and hopefully the little guys!

a pictorial birth story

ok, i'm pretty sure its big enough to read the words, just click on the picture and it will get bigger. :-)

babies!!!

birth story is still forthcoming, but thought i'd post some pics :-)
these were taken by Sherronna and James when the came to visit yesterday, 3 days old for the twins. I posted these because they are WAY nicer than my pictures but i'll still post my original pics when i post my birth story, if that might ever happen.... :-) Anyway, Asher is the baby in the red. He was born second and is the biggest, his birth weight being 7 lbs 13 oz. Elliott is the cutie in the blue. He was born first, and is the shrimpy one at 7 lbs even. We are not yet sure if they are identical. They appear to be identical, with a few minor differences, likely attributable to being nearly a pound different in weight, but we could easily find out as the weeks go on that they are fraternal. We will most likely do a dna test just to make sure, as it makes a big difference medically for their future :-) Anyway, wanted to post this quick since i had a second...

No babies on monday.

Ok, so i just got a call from the dr's office, who just got a call from the hospital, and they've cancelled my csection. It is because she scheduled it for monday, when i'm 36 weeks 6 days, not 37 weeks. they had described me as 36 weeks 3 days yesterday at my appointment, not 36 2 as i'd described myself, which i just chalked up as a discrepancy between 2 different calculars. I mean it IS one stinking day! So... the hospital is refusing to do the surgery, since i'd be like 12 hours away from being 37 weeks, and the next soonest they have is thursday at 3 pm. Yeah, so no food or water ALL DAY. I'll probably be DEAD by then with my massive water intake needs right now. if not, i'll go into surgery dehydrated and starving. GREAT huh? Makes me want to just say, SCREW them and i'll just go into labor whenever, hope it doesn't happen to fast and the stupid hospital's extended check in procedures don't take so long as to cause damage to anyone, and just MAKE their sorry butts give me a dang CSEC. Whenever it happens!!

The dr.s office lady did say that she was going to talk to Dr. Ho and see if there's anything else they could work out, and the original monday date was actually on her lunch hour, so i'm confident that if there's anything she's ABLE to do, she totally will. So at this point, i'm not feeling the babies barely at all, all i can really do is just HOPE everything is ok, or if it isn't that my once a week NST will pick up on it! I am just SO LIVID right now, I mean for crying out loud, isn't there exceptions for high risk pregnancies?!

back!

and the babies are both looking just fine!! B's movements are smaller,but its probably just a growth spurt, leaving him with less room. Regardless, i'm totally confident they are doing ok!!
Rebecca

Today's appointment

Ok, so i'm like this HUGE knot of emotion right now, and I think i'm overreacting to just about EVERYTHING, so its hard to figure out what is a threat and what isn't... But i have been pretty distressed, yesterday and today both, my baby "B" has been really still.. he got hiccups yesterday, and today some movement at my appointment, particularily during the ultrasound so he IS moving and both heartbeats were easily discernable, but since the reduction of movement was so much, my doctor wants me to go in to the hospital today for monitoring, and sunday too. And MONDAY we are having these babies! The Csec is scheduled for noon. So i'm waiting now, to find out if we can just go back to tacoma tonight, after work, since Andy was planning to go back to work this afternoon, they are really short staffed right now, or if we need to go in right away. Overall, i am fairly confident that everything is probably ok. They are both moving, seeing them was reassuring, but i certainly don't want to take any chances, and if like the cord was looped around b's neck multiple times, i'm pretty sure that would show up in a NST, so it will be good to do that. It very well could be that they just had a big growth spurt over the last couple days, it was VERY hard to lay down on the table for the ultrasound.

Oh, ok, so they just called and i am supposed to go to the hospital right now for more monitoring... so i guess i should get off and get ready! Anyhow, i'll post again when i get back.

Thanks for your prayers! please keep it up, i'm still a bit worried about my little guys...

My choices

Ok, i'll just say it- I know that i'm being judged. And i shouldn't care! i get that, i know that were the tables turned i'm sure i'd be judging me too, i really GET THAT! i had my last 3 babies at home, with no medication and only ONE of them was a water birth, so i DO have my fair share of toughness, but here's the thing- i'm just trying to make life as managable and normal as possible. its not like ANY of this is how i imagined my dream birth, NAMELY that there would be more than one of them! And i'm just doing my best to roll with the punches and make the best of a series of FAR less than desirable choices. And "I" know who I am and what my limitations are. At this point, my babies are transverse, and while i COULD go to extreme measures to TRY to get them rotated, or i COULD blow of the whole medical profession altother, have my babies at home and hope they LIVED, or whatever, that's NOT what i have chosen to do. In fact, if "B" did usurp "A"s position and moved head down i'm still pretty sure i would request a Csection. And here's why- Because there's always some element of insecurity with birth, i GET that. And i think i'm doing a PRETTY good job keeping it together as is, But i am NOT NOT NOT, comfortable with having both a vaginal and a csection delivery. I'm NOT going to do that. The fact is, i have a lot of responsibility and i CANNOT be the person i'm expected to be when i'm torn up ALL OVER THE PLACE. I'm NOT going to do that to myself! Sorry for not being the perfect martyr! And that's a HUGE possibility if i opt to go natural on this birth. Secondly i'm NOT ok with my doctor reaching inside my vagina, up into my uterus and pulling my second baby out. Its just not happening. So in a way, its a huge blessing that the little guys are more comfortable horizontally.

ALL i am trying to do is maintain SOME semblance of normalcy for my family, i'm trying to survive this birth and everything that it entails psychologically for me without crossing over into the land of the completely freaking INSANE. So, if you choose to judge me, for not being that perfect person, feel free. But keep this in mind first. And feel qualified to make that judgement ONLY if you've had 2 or more babies that lived in you for 36 plus weeks. If you've spent nearly a year with overwhelming nausea, and a portion of that time throwing up every day, Judge away! If you have spent WEEKS mostly in bed while everything around you CRUMBLED, knowing somehow you'd have to put it all back together while simultaneously homeschooling 5 children and 2 extra babies, Judge on! And if the last few of those weeks you began each night going to the bathroom every 20 minutes, tapering off to 30 minutes, then to an hour, then to one glorious 3 hour stretch (on a REALLY good night) roughly equating to about 6-8 potty trips per 9 hour sleeping period, then most certainly you can judge me. If you spent weeks where it hurt to be laying down, hurt a little more to be sitting down, really hurt to be standing up and you could BARELY STAND to walk, why then, PROCEED! And this is only considering the physical issues confronting me right now, NOT even the psychological issues, which are big, but i certainly don't want to get into here and now. I just thought i'd offer another perspective to why I am making the choices that I am. As far as i'm concerned, a Csection is NOT ideal but its the best choice at this point. And as far as i'm concerned going 37 weeks with twins is ABSOLUTELY sufficient. And maybe that makes me selfish. But that is MY LIMIT.

35 week appointment

Ok, so today was my appointment, and i arrived with a mission. To convince my Dr. that it would be best for me to have the babies as SOON as possible, specifically, next friday, the 17th. I was unsuccessful in that attempt. She said at 36 weeks 3 days she'd need specific REASON to prematurely plan a c-section. Darn. I really thought i approached that in a convincing way. So i THINK i got her to sort of agree to exactly 37 weeks on the nose which would be the Tuesday AFTER that friday that i was shooting for. My rationale behind the friday was that it would give us the benefit of the weekend, and since i'm having a Csection, i'm going to need my dh home for as long as possible on a LOT Of levels. But i would still rather have them the tuesday after rather than 2 weeks from friday, namely because Leif's bithday is on the 28th and i'd like to be at least moderately recovered by his birthday, like i don't want to be coming out of the hospital the day BEFORE his birthday, and i think the chances of my body waiting till after are minimal.

So anyway, back to the appointment. My uterus is measuring 53 cm, 2 more than last time, and the babies are both transverse... they kind of have their own diagonal half of the uterus, and their heads are surprisingly close togther. They weigh about 6 lbs and 6 1/2 lbs respectively. NOW, the troubling thing about their heads, is she was moving the wand along my belly saying "here's a head, and here's a head, and here's a head. And i was like WAIT a minute, that was 3 heads!! WHY do my babies have 3 HEADS????? There is still just 2 BABIES, RIGHT?!?!?!?!?! and she very hesitantly said "Yes....." and i was like WHOA, you are so not filling me with much confidence with THAT "Yes..." So she looked around more and determined that she was seeing A's head from 2 opposite sides of the uterus. We THINK. So in all likelyhood, there IS just 2 babies, but if they find another one in there later, i would not be ENTIRELY surprised, though i still think i would completely freak out. 2 babies at once is crazy enough. Another thing is they seem to be hanging out only at the top of my uterus which is weird. The placentas are at the top, so its not like they are blocking the bottom off, so i'm a BIT concerned about THAT turn of events, but i'm trying not to stress about it especially since i have enough to stress about as is. Right now the combination of waking up stressed about some element of the coming birth, and the EXCRUCIATING hip pain that i get during my 1 3 hour stretch at night when i don't have to pee, is getting me up REALLY early, and i'm tired and cranky and really really sore all over ALL the time.

34 week appt.

Ok, so what a frustrating appointment. First, the babies are the same as last time, A is breech, B is transverse, though B is more transverse than last time he was more vertexish, he's kind of moved up. i think hanging out on my pubic bone wasn't very comfortable for him either! Anyway, so she's fairly certain at this point that we are looking at a Csec although she won't schedule one earlier than 37-38 weeks! UGG! AND she thinks my contractions are braxton hicks, which is completely baloney. I've had 5 children, HELLO! i can tell when i'm in LABOR! and she insists that if my cervix was problematic they'd be able to find it and something would be bulging out of it, like A's bag of water or his little butt :-) eww... soooo.. after my 5 minute waste of time appointment, i'm no further than i was before. So who knows. Andy is "I told you so"ing big time about me opting to change to a more laid back doctor, and i think he's right. Oh well... at least she wants me to be stress tested on sunday, (provided i'm not in the hospital prior to then, which i'm guessing is pretty much a GIVEN at this point, since i'm supposed to go in after 2 hours of 10 minutes or closer contractions. But at any rate i'm definately mentally preparing for a Csection, which creeps me out still, but i have to admit, no 20 hour labor is very tempting. So i'm glad the decision is out of my hands, i'm not sure i'd make the "right" choice. AND i'm glad to have the time to mentally prepare. I don't do well with spur of the moment crises. Anyway, i'm trying to distract myself, hoping that it might make me less likely to go into labor? not easy on BEDREST! ugg. anyway, that's pretty much it. Thanks for reading.
R

What a night!

Ok, so around 6ish, i started to notice that my regular contractions are getting a bit harder and more regular, roughly every 10 min. or so... I was laying down already when i discovered this, and drinking lots of water already so i got up to serve dinner and eat, and it continued on, Andy got home, let him know that we'd probably have to go to the hospital, and eventually called the L&D floor, and they said to come in, so i took my time got stuff squared away, took a shower, and left. We got there around 8ish, and my contractions were 4-5 min apart and strongish and very regular! Yikes. So since i'm only 34 weeks, they wanted to stop them. Basically they said they'd not to go heroic measures to stop them, but if they could be stopped that would be good, so i got 2 failed cervix checks, ugg and a shot of terbutaline, which i didn't even FEEL, which is weird because it hurt last time, i was like, are you sure it worked? LOL, but it did and eventually the contractions gave way to just irritable "i've been on my back WAY too long" bumps on the chart. So at about 11, i was discharged and midnight just got home. UGG. What a night and poor andy! Hope he has an easy day tomorrow. And really hope this doesn't become a regular thing.. So anyway, i'm off to bed, wiped out. HOping i don't go into labor futilely again tomorrow :(

PS. we did get a pretty spectacular fireworks show right out the window of the hospital, i could even see them in bed, it was really neat!!

a day in the life....

So last night Andy and i had what was probably our last date night for a LONG time, and we went to tour the hospital maternity area, and i was surprised to see the class was taught by Patti Ramos, THE Patti Ramos whom i'd heard so much about but never actually seen or met, so that was really cool. The whole hospital setup is SCARY! Particularily the OR where they do csections. I discovered a few things... 1. I am allowed to labor in water but not birth in water, close enough. If i have a vaginal birth, i will be there 1 night, and 2 nights if i have a c-section. So anyway, got home and the kids had completely trashed the house, company makes my kiddos a little distracted :-) But they were all in jammies and ready to go, which sped things up a bit. Poor Chloe had this monster fat lip from falling off her bike. Poor thing, I made them stay up and clean. It was alex's night so he did the bulk of it. (my older 3 take 2 night blocks where they get to stay up when the other kids go to bed and clean, do whatever chores need doing, they usually get a treat or something, and everyone seems to LOVE it when its their turn, which is an awesome deal for us. So... THAT helped, and then this AM alex made his weekly oatmeal, using yummy thick steel cut oats which is our wednesday tradition. we had breakfast, and i printed out all my homeschool ABC lessons to read while i bedrest, and went to make my bed. Then i thought, gee, i should get DRESSED, and went to see if alex did his last two loads worth of laundry which he did NOT. So, no getting dressed for me. Sigh... i put the boys on timers, every hour they will be switching that darn laundry till its DONE! probably all day. Sigh... AND, i discovered that the middle children ate almost my ENTIRE BAG of pita chips from COSTCO!! UGGGGGG! And chloe's pouting because i called her on it... sigh...

So, i'm here, being good, resting... not like at this point i'd even WANT to not be resting, they are so low it hurts to go anywhere, today is much better though, it doesn't hurt to lay down, which is great. I'm trying to decide if we are going to eat at home or go to Arby's tonight. I still have a fabulous dinner brought by Lashell monday, which i should really freeze if we aren't going to use it tonight, BUT tonight is free roast beef night at arbys when you buy a drink, which for all of us, plus a couple extra sandwiches and a couple fries is $20 or so which is AWESOME for us... hmm... this is a pretty good dilemma..

33 week update

Well, i had my appointment today, no major news... a few little things.... its "appears" Baby A is breech and baby B is vertex (head down) i say "Appears" because its really hard to tell which is which... but since A seems to be deeper, i'm thinking "A" really IS "A" So there's that, and also, i've dropped! Very cool! She checked my cervix and its still too high up to tell, which is good, so i'm not dialating anyway, but the babies are laying off the ribcage and instead are pounding on my pubic bone, making it easier to breathe but harder to stand and move around and i'm having a lot of uncomfortable contractions. I'm also starting to sleep not so well, for the first time this pregnancy. Which in all fairness is pretty good, But nonetheless, its kind of the pits being me right now!

So Anyway, let's see... what else.. i have a nonstress test for sunday, and still have to figure out how to do the next appointment, since its a weird time for andy's work, want to make sure he still gets paid for the 4th of july. but other htan that.. not much going on...

I will say that i'm fully sick of being pregnant. The rational side of me keeps reminding myself how much EASIER these babies are to take care of on the INSIDE than the outside, Eat, go potty a lot, lay down a lot, voila! I can still sleep, and go places, and whatnot... NOT so when they are born. Of course its not like its my choice anyway, at some point my body is just going to be like "ENOUGH!!!" and i personally feel like that time is coming! I'd give it about 2 weeks personally, i just don't feel like there's that much longer left!! i actually found myself ASKING my doctor, if i scheduled a Csec how SOON could i schedule that! She said probably not sooner than 37 weeks. SHEESH! that's a whole month from now. Ugg.

So anyway, we had our appointment and then got to swing on down to Gig Harbor, which is always a treat, especially right now, getting to GO somewhere :-) yay! So we went to pick up from a friend a snap in stroller set with peg perego carseats!! it was a GIFT, one of many lately!! And a WONDERFUL blessing, (THANKS Miranda!!) then we thought we'd drive through Gig Harbor, just a nice change of scenery, so we did, and we stopped at Ben and Jerry's and went in, and promptly LEFT, LOL! (cones, $4 each ;-) We laughed the whole way out at how tacky and conspicuous we must look!! Good times!! Then we went to dairy queen! And spent a more reasonable $16 on icecream :-)

Now we are home and Lashell brought us dinner for tonight and tomorrow, that i can HARDLY wait to dive into!! oh my gosh, REAL FOOD!! What a luxury!!! i'm getting WAY too accustomed to Mcd's and the like!! :-) (My MOPS group is bringing by meals twice a week, which is just so absolutely AMAZINGLY helpful... just ONE less thing to worry about.

Anyway, that's me! hope you all are well :-)
Rebecca

32 weeks!

and a new twin diagram to go along with it!!

Homeschooling with lots of babies!

So, i'm getting my year plan together and i'm wondering what all of you who have BTDT have done to prepare for a crazy insane whacked out year, homeschooling 4 and having an additional preschooler and 2 newborns!!

My plan for the year is to keep it REALLY simple. I'm buying pieced together versions of the Timberdoodle full year curriculums http://www.timberdoodle.com/Complete_Homeschool_Curriculum_Packages_s/363.htm since i use a virtual school and they won't pay for the apologia science... so anyway, i chose those since they require much less TIME than most curricula, and so i'm hoping that will help.

Also i'm focusing now on getting ready ahead of time. As soon as the stuff arrives, which probably won't be till after they are born sadly, i'm allowing myself lots of time to break down everything into weekly folders so we know exactly what needs to be done on what weeks. Whatever doesn't get done will get done on the weekends or evenings. That's my plan anyway :-)

I'm contemplating a "Managers of their homes" style schedule, including the babies, but am nervous, having never scheduled babies before. From what I understand, many twin parents go the schedule route purely for sanity's sake, when they may not have normally scheduled their newborns, its merely a survival thing. So i'm very seriously considering it, making sure to allow close feedings for the little guys.

Does anyone else have any sanity saving ideas for how to make things come together?!

thanks,
rebecca

31 week appointment!

Ok! well, today's appointment went significantly better than last weeks! First, i'm measuring 49 inches, quickly pushing me into "enormous" from just being "huge" a few weeks ago :-) Babies are now both breech, having moved from both tranverse last week. This is encouraging to me, because if they can turn in that direction, then they can turn in the other direction too! so hopefully!! they are measuring around 1600 grams, or a little over 3 1/2 lbs each. If you were not aware, 1500 grams is the "magic" point where 95% of twins born then or later survive, and 80% have no serious problems long term. VERY COOL! Not that i'm lackadaisical about making sure they aren't born too early, i'm just encouraged that they are this far. So... let's see..

I got a penis confirmation on "B" didn't happen to notice on "A" due to how he was positioned, but i'm going to assume that my old doctor, a perinatologist, can recognize a penis when he sees one and i'll continue to assume i have 2 boys :-)

So babies are looking good, they are breathing now. I need to look up and find out when they normally start breathing, but she noticed chest movement, so that is cool! good strong heartbeats, and they are roughly the same size and measuring only about 3 days further than i am instead of 5 days further, which is good since we'd really prefer NOT to have 2 10 lb babies in there :)

OH and the REALLY Good news is i'm allowed to SIT!!!! yes, she said a couple hours of laying down a couple times a day should do it and then i can SIT the rest of the day which is ROCKINGLY AWESOME, since there's SO MANY things you can do sitting that you can't do laying down. Plus it is sooooo achy laying down all day, my whole body has just been sooo sore! YAY!!!!

Thanks for your prayers!!
Rebecca

Another update!!

Wow, the excitement! Ok, so yesterday, i posted when i got home from the appointment, etc, Well, i continued to lay down for about 2 hours, and kept getting contractions about 10 minutes apart, and they felt like the contractions i NORMALLY get at about 4 am the friday morning before i go into labor the next night. (i'm like clockwork with EVERYTHING) So i was concerned and called the dr's office, and talked to the midwife i'd seen that day, who put a rush on the fetal fibronectin test that i'd taken that day (Did i mention that?! probably not, but it was AWESOME, they did it blind without having to do the speculum thing, which was AWESOME! easy schmeasy. Anyway, so she put a rush on that in the lab, and told me i should really get to the hospital, so i packed up lots of books, Andy packed up the laptop, and we set off for the hospital.

They immediately admitted me to the hospital, about 4:30 pm put me in a wheelchair and sent me up to Labor and Delivery. They were SO nice there! The first nurse tried really hard to get the monitors to pick up the babies' heartbeats but the monitors weren't cooperating so she'd get them all jammed in there and as soon as they were set up, i'd have to to to the bathroom, having drunk water like crazy all day :-) by about 7 there was a shift change and i got a new nurse who was also really nice and she gave me a shot of some kind of smooth muscle relaxant. My doctor was there and read my pee test, and said i was severely dehydrated and my ketones were at a "2" i think the highest they can be- not good, so she ordered an IV. She wasn't sure if i'd have to stay overnight, which would have REALLY been a bummer because andy would have had to miss ANOTHER day of work or at least a half day. The results from my fetal fibronectin came back NEGATIVE, which is awesome, that means that at least this am when i had the test labor had NOT started, and was unlikely to happen in the next 2 weeks, but the dr. was concerned that we had to stop the contractions. it took longer than it usually does for the shot of muscle relaxant to work, and the contractions were still going. Then it started to work and i got really dizzy and shaky, but it definately helped, by about 930 my heart rate was still too high for another dose and my contractions were becoming more irritable and small with only an occassional regular contraction, so that was good! finally, after my 2nd bag of Iv fluids, my contractions were decreasing and my ketones were down to 1 and i was able to be liberated from the hospital by about 11:30! So i'm not sure what's up with the ketones, if it was just a dehydration thing, or due to not having really eaten much of anything since the pizza buffet we had at 11 am.

So i went home and took a SHOWER!! i was all gooeyed up from all the monitors and sweaty from my room being hot and blech! Then i drank another water bottle and went to bed. So this morning, i woke up with a headache and dark pee again. (WHAT THE HECK!?) its like i just can drink water constantly and still never get enough?!!? So i'm BACK to my bedrest routine. I was warned that i had to follow modified bedrest really strictly, or i'd have to be on STRICT bedrest, which is nearly impossible, so i'm trying really hard to not mess this up, since i do NOT want to get bumped up to strict and i do NOT want to end up in the hospital again!!! ugg. Prayers would be much appreciated.. there is SO much work to be done and it drives me NUTS staying in bed all day doing NOTHING!!!! uggggg...

Today's appointment- 30 weeks

Well, i just transfered over to Dr. Phoebe Ho's practice, and had my first appointment there today. It was eventful to say the least. I was having contractions ALL morning, i hit my 4th in an hour while i was being examined,and i'm supposed to rest for a long while and drink lots of water and keep an eye on how things are going, so HOPEFULLY i won't have to go to the hospital or anything... i still think i probably should have just gone in to St. Joe's ANYWAY, just to be monitored for a while and play it safe.. BUT my cervix is still high, though soft, and closed, so that's good.

ANyway, the big thing is, the twins are BOTH transverse. i knew that "B" was transverse as he's the one that's more on the outside, easier to feel movement and stuff, I think that A spends a lot of time kicking into B :-) So i asked the midwife that i saw at this appointment when the babies stop flipping around, and she said if not now, pretty soon they will be too big to move, she gave my odds of them staying that way at about 75-80% So i will probably have to have a planned csection, which is such a bummer. I really didn't want to go there. But at least i will have some notice, i can mentally prepare, which is much better than just BLAMO, Csection, NOW!

So, i'm a bit stressed.. it was a load off seeing them moving around on the ultrasound, getting to hear thier heartbeats and the weird movement i've been feeling makes much more sense now, AND i don't have to stress about whether or not to get the epidural in anticipation of her reaching in and grabbing B, which is how it usually works when the second twin is breach, but man... its still really scary to think about getting cut open like that. And my recovery time... and i never thought i'd say THIS but i'm worried there won't be enough HANDS at my house when they are born! at least helpful ones! Andy's going to take 3 weeks vacation, but STILL, i'm feeling seriously outnumbered right about now!! ugg. Just trying to remember to stay in prayer, none of this is an accident and God will make sure we are taken care of, in all ways, i'm certain; but still a little edgy, i admit.

Fetal development update

I haven't posted one of these in a while!! here's the most recent stage my babies are at. It should be about the same for twins, just picture 2 of them in there :)

here's the description from the website http://www.wpclinic.org/parenting/fetal-development/third-trimester/
There is a rapid increase in the amount of body fat the fetus has. Rhythmic breathing occurs, but the lungs are not yet mature. The fetus sleeps 90-95% of the day. At this point there the survival rate is above 95% if the baby is born.




And here is a picture of what twins looked like a week ago,



At 28 weeks your twins will have grown to about 15 inches/ 38cm from top to toe (10 inches/ 25.5 centimetres from crown to rump) and will weigh nearly 2 lb /875g each.

Their eyes open and close, they sleep and wake at regular intervals and they may suck a finger or thumb.

Your twins' brain growth is very rapid this month. The characteristic grooves on the brain's surface start to appear and more brain tissue develops. Nearly all fetuses react to sound by the end of the seventh month.

At about this time, your twins can open their eyes and turn their heads in utero if they notice a continuous, bright light shining from the outside. Their fat layers are forming. In boys, testicles descend from near the kidneys through the groin en route to the scrotum. In girls, the clitoris is relatively prominent because it's not yet covered by the still-small labia. These will grow to cover it in the last few weeks before birth.

Their skeletons are hardening even more. While your twins may soon slow down growing in length, they will continue to gain weight until they are born.

A pint and a half/around a litre of amniotic fluid now surrounds each of your twins, but that volume decreases as they gets bigger and have less room in your uterus.

29 week belly pic!

This is me, 29 weeks pregnant with the twins!

UPPING the Ante on the UHSE!

It just occurred to me with my overflowing HUGE box of my scrapbook stuff that i've downsized that i could offer a pretty rocking incentive for using my affiliate link to purchase a ticket to the UHSE!

I have been selling off much of my scrapbooking stash as well as my fabric stash. I have been making mystery boxes of scrapbook stuff, complete with high quaility brand name patterned paper, specialty paper, good textured cardstock and an assortment of embellishments including ribbon, chipboard, stickers, rubons, and more! i'm downsizing because we will soon have 2 new babies to share our bedroom, which doubles as my scrapping studio, so I need to free up some space. I take a flat rate postal box, the $10 ones, and stuff it to the gills with scrapbook goodies, and have been selling them at the INSANE price of $25 ppd. You get SO MUCH for that price. HOWEVER, I am going to GIVE AWAY, one FREE to the first person to sign up using my affiliate link. Just forward me your paypal reciept, and be sure to use my affiliate link! And the first person to sign up for the UHSE, either as an individual or with a friend, will get a box free! ALSO, for every 5 people that sign up using my affiliate link, i will give away another box, so if 5 people sign up, 2 of them will get a box, if 10 people sign up, 3 of them will get a box and so on!! This is an awesome deal!

PS, if you are a Sewing person and not a scrapper, or would just prefer fabric, i would be glad to substitute a mystery box of fabric. It would include an assortment of organic cotton fabric, hemp/cotton fabric, cute cotton knits, cute cotton quilt type print fabric, etc. I can't tell you what is in it, but i can tell you it will be good quality, cotton fabric.

SO, if you'd like to, follow one of the affiliate links below, and sign up for the UHSE, forward me your receipt to kvenvolden@comcast.net and I'll either send on your box, if you are first, or add you to the drawing, if you are 2nd or later!!

This deal is valid NOW, through next Sunday May 31st.

Ultimate homeschool Expo! wooohoo!!!

Ok, i did the order with a friend last year and so totally double/tripled/maybe quadrupled my investment with all the great freebies alone, not to mention great vendor hall deals, and the massive stash of audios that i STILL haven't listened to them all! Its so totally worth the investment. I used my audios primarily to walk with in the AM. Before i got pregnant, i had built up the habit of getting up at like 6 am and walking with my MP3 player. Walking is clearly the best kind of exercise for me, low cost, low ambition :-) However, its also excruciatingly BORING! So i bought a $15 mp3 player, i bought mine at graveyardmall.com but i'm guessing you could find cheap ones a lot of places. And loaded it up with a variety of seminar topics, and each morning i'd choose one to listen to while i walked. It made the walk go much faster AND i was building not only my body, but my skills as a homemaker and homeschool mom at the same time! I also find its GREAT background for scrapbooking. I'm a scrapper and one of my biggist problems is i tend to THINK too much when i create things. Using audios on Itunes, gives my mind something to do other than over-critique my work, which any of you who scrap can certainly relate to. There comes a point where the old noggin does more harm than good! Anyway, It KILLS me that i've not bought my ticket yet, but i only have $58 in mommy homework money, and it costs $100 regular price, so i'd be writing a whole lot of mommy homework before i could get it, Sooo... anyway, i thought i'd post my affiliate links here to bless you and me both :-) Thank you in advance if you decide to use my affiliate link! And even if you don't, You must know that this is an unbeatable purchase. The regular price is $100, and you can get your tickets for only $39.95 individually, or $59.95 for two!


Order your ticket

Or better yet,

Order with a friend

OH, and if you can't find anyone to buy a ticket with you, let me know, and i'll post here and see if i can find you a partner! Buying with a friend brings the cost down to only $30, totally a steal!

Do you use Apologia Botany or Astronomy?

If so, or if you are planning to soon, you should totally check out the giveaway that Jeannie Fulbright is doing right now!

She's giving away 4 of each book, you can see the details here http://www.jeanniesjournal.com/2009/05/botany-and-astronomy-notebooking.html

You can see the samples here

Botany and Astronomy
GOOD STUFF! i totally think it adds just the right amount of "oomph" to make the program a bit more complete.

a great marriage building blog

I came across this blog, and thought you'd all benefit from it. When you sign up, you get emails when there's a post and you get the free ebook, which is excellent! plus the blog is bite sized, a little each day, very manageable.

http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/

As you may or may not know, this last anniversary, October 15th marked a dramatic point for me of "**** or get off the pot" in my marriage. Something had come up and things had gotten twisted in ways i never could have imagined and I found myself with my own "eye candy man" as the ebook from the above source described. Now, really, that might not be the best descriptor because while he was attractive, he'd not be the guy you'd pick out on the street and say, "WOOHHWEEE! let's get a piece of THAT!" if you know what i mean. It was more a heart thing... he spoke to me in such a deep way that to say the least, it was REALLY hard to let go of a really twisted and WRONG dream that had developed in me, and hold on to my marriage and my family. But I made that choice, and i put my faith in God to help me get through the coming months and years and lifetime that would follow, and HOPE that dh would be merciful to me.

And i have to say, BOTH God and Andy have come through for me in profound ways. First God gave me the strength to keep on going when i felt like my life was OVER. Andy, instead of being bitter, angry and entitled, like "I" would have been, he was gentle, attentive, merciful, and went out of his way to pay attention to my needs and make sure he was being the best husband he could. It has been 7 months tomorrow, and there's still after affects that are difficult to deal with. But i have to say that my life has changed so much. There are definately scars. I don't look at men the same way, with the same innocence as before. I KNOW that ANY one of them has the potential to become an inappropriate relationship and as a result I keep my distance. However, overall, i've changed for the better, and my LIFE has changed for the better in ways i never could have comprehended. I mean come on! I'm expecting TWINS this summer!! "2" new lives that may never have existed had things gone differently. WOW! That totally blows my mind. Life is not easy now, not by any stretch, my budget makes me cry, my van is downright scary to drive sometimes, and i honestly don't know how i'm going to deal with the birth situation, but life IS exactly what it was SUPPOSED to be, and that gives me peace and strength.

26 weeks, 2 days!

And i'm officially measuring what i usually do in a singleton pregnancy at term :-)
my Moosey-ness is astounding, really, yet i've lost almost 25 lbs, and i'm thinking right now there's at least like 15 lbs of babies and placentae and other babymaking stuff, oh and my blood volume is supposed to be like 55% higher than usual, which i'm HOPING is what is accounting for my crazy high blood pressure! (its not high by normal human standards, but i run REALLY low, like i think the highest i've ever seen mine before was like 109/75 it's usally in the 90's over 75 and is right now 126/75 YIKES!) So i'm watching all my other stuff closely, making sure i'm not swelling up, etc.

I'm in the process of deciding whether to switch doctors or not. I found an AWESOME one, who has no problem with me laboring in water, birthing WITHOUT stirrups, and had confidence of my ability to do a natural birth. EVERYTHING seems perfect, to me, it seems like a no brainer. To andy, however, he's more hesitant. He had no problem with the doctor, although she did say the first thing she'd restrict if it looked like i was having issues with preterm labor would be SEX, which cracked me up because i KNEW it would win no points with andy :-) but he likes the other doctor a lot, despite his off color remarks during my hellish vaginal exam and my obvious need for a female doctor, for serious reasons... he just REALLY does not like the idea of switching midway through pregnancy. Honestly though, i'm on the brink and i really don't think i can deal with the fetal fibronectin test which is due 2 weeks from now, and would require that awful speculum... ugg... ok, so i need to stop stressing! Anyway, i really can't make this decision without him, and he seems to suddenly be MUTE, which for me, miss gab an hour, is like torture. WAAH! Praying that it all works out!

So, that's where i'm at. OH and i'm also contemplating cloth diapers, diaper service, how that will play out with diaper gifts i get when the babies are born, etc. Any ideas? feel free to leave a comment!
:-)
rebecca

Scrapbook mystery boxes for sale!!

Anyone interested? they are flat rate priority boxes, the ones that ship for $9 something, PACKED with cardstock, Patterned paper, partial kits from various kit clubs, embellishements- stickers, rubons, lumpy stuff, etc. If there's a category of stuff you don't use, like you don't want partial kits, or you don't like cardstock, or whatever i can lightly customize, but i can't provide pics or tell you exactly what is in them because that would take forever and i'm not supposed to spend much time on my FEET right now, so the price is reflective of that! i'm asking $25 ppd for each box if you'd like them mailed, or if you live locally to me $16 each. I accept paypal, checks, money orders, etc, and might be willing to barter :-)

I'm trying to declutter my bedroom so its fit to house 2 more small humans :-)
Thanks!
Rebecca

24 week appointment

Was today... and it was nightmarish, but with a good outcome. I'll explain. First, the babies are doing great, and i'm NOT dialating, so that's good.

What is nightmarish? well from the very beginning, it was SOMETHING. First the ultrasound. Baby A was COMPLETELY still. And it took a LONG time to find his heartbeat because he was all wrapped up around himself, kind of wadded up in a ball, and when i THOUGHT i saw his heart, NOT moving, it was really his stomach, the US tech showed me his heart which was a bit obscured but visibly beating. thank GOD! but it was a HORRIBLE few seconds there.

Ok, so NEXT, was the awful icky SPECULUM and while we'd decided to do my pap AFTER the babies were born, he figured why not go ahead and do it since he was doing a vaginal ultrasound anyway :-( :-( Well, my cervix is hard to access, and it was SO SO SOOO uncomfortable, not to mention psychologically with my ISSUES with being around strange men half naked. Well, it didn't work. So no pap, no cervical swab to look for preterm labor but we were able to see that my cervix was still nice and long, meaning i'm not dialating, which is awesome. So the next goal is to get to 28 weeks, then to 32, and then to 35 or so. The babies are really big. He kept marveling over and over about how big they are. Well, big deal, my babies are ALL big. They were still healthy and just fine. Not everyone follows a perfect chart of averageness. So they are in the 94th and 95th percentile and thought to be about 1 lb 12 oz so far :-) Which "I" anyway, think is a good thing!!!!

So then i went to the part of the appt afterword where we go over my blood sugar and all that.. basically, its not great but its not bad enough to warrant insulin so that's awesome. I'm kind of all over the place. But i do have to make pretty serious changes to my diet and be super super deliberate about EVERY little thing i eat. and i'm grumpy and chocolate deprived, and NOT happy about the whole situation, i'm doing it anyway, except that tonight i'm having a peice of Chloe's birthday cake and thats completely non-negotiable, so there.

I can't have my carnation instant breakfast anymore for breakfast which completely SUCKS because its the ONLY thing that appeals to me and i'm SICK of being nauseated all the time and just want to eat what feels good. I know, selfish.

Ok, so then we got into restrictions. No more grocery shopping unless i'm in a motorized cart or wheelchair. That just seems WEIRD to me, and I already feel like a freak on display. Especially when alex points out to EVERYONE that i'm having twins, at which point you can see people mentally counting my children, and making some sort of shocked gesture. Well, get over it people! UGG. ANd i HATE being dependent on others for stuff. Especially Andy. If i want something, i have to rely on HIM to get it, and that just plain SUCKS! i HATE IT, i want to do it myself.

So anyway, the last half a week or so has been trying, really really hard... as you can probably tell by my fabulous mood right now, and today just added to it all. At least my dad is back in MN now. It was a HARD visit, and he's coming again next month, and honestly, i don't know how i'm going to find the emotional where with all to be able to deal with it. He's demanding, and ALWAYS gets his way, and I have to cram all my kids into one small bedroom, and he doesn't have any kind of idea what is realistic for us as a large family. Honestly, i dont' know how i'm going to deal with that. My sister's coming too at least which is awesome. But i just feel like i have SO MUCH stress right now, that i can't take anymore, but he doesn't take no for an answer. I have NO power in this relationship. He gets his way, ALWAYS. I'm SO FRUSTRATED.

Anyway, this is my life right now. Hope i can post more positively next time. PRAYERS PLEASE!!!!
Rebecca

near death experience.

WOW. Last night the most incredible, horrendous, scary thing happened! Andy and I had dropped off the older 4 at LOGOS, and were going out on our semi-date night with Leif, and had gone to barnes and Noble, and while there, Leif had gotten a poopy diaper. Well, we stopped at the parking lot outside the restaurant we were going to, and Andy was going to change Leif and i was going to go in ahead and get us seats and order, to reduce the time we'd need to wait and make sure we could pick up the children on time. Anyway, i was walking through the parking lot and approaching the main drag where cars drive, right in front of the restaurant. I saw a guy walking toward his car, he made eye contact, which i thought was kind of odd, had a serious look on is face, got into his car, all the while i'm approaching that main drag. Well in NO time he TORE out of his parking spot and barreled toward me! he missed me by less than 5 feet, i'm not sure exactly how much, but it SCARED the bejeebes out of me! oh my gosh, a couple people in a van saw and looked at me, like "WHOA" and i was just so in shock that i paused for a minute and went into the restaurant. When Andy got in i was like, "did you SEE that guy!? and Andy said, YEAH, he left a trail of burned rubber from his tire! It was CRAZY. We contemplated how if he HAD hit me, the speed would have surely killed me and the babies. And we wondered if at 23 weeks i was far enough along for him to be charged with 3 homicides. It was THAT close. And we thought about what would have happened had Leif NOT been in the car with Andy. we'd have been slower. Would we have been able to get him out of the way? It really reinforced to me how much God is in control, and while things seem to randomly happen, and while it seems like i could be taken out at any second by a rogue crazy person, I know that that's NOT the case. But it still makes you think.

Decluttering sucess!!!

Ok, so the girls room was the WORST in the house.. i WISH i took before pictures, but here's some AFTER pictures! i'm SO pleased at the nearly all day venture Alex and i undertook to make their room look nice!! The rocking chair i got at deseret thrift store, $30 woohoo! and is temporary till we get my living room baby nook carved out, but the girls LOVE it, it will be hard to take away from them!

My appt today

It went pretty well! Not ALL the answers i wanted to get but overall, i'm ok with what's going down. First of all, i meet with the nurse, mostly, and she is about the sweetest person you'll ever meet, and she's so diplomatic, andy was really impressed with how she suggested i not be so confrontational in a really super diplomatic way, LOL! No, but really, she's great, and all the techs are nice and i'm getting more used to the dr. And i am fairly certain i'm staying with them at this point.

Anyway, here's what i found out.

1. vaginal vs. Csec for me will be determined by how baby "A" is positioned. If he's head down, i'm good to go. My biggest (non baby health related) fear is that i'll deliver A naturally, and then have to have a section for B! UGG. so if B is transverse or breech, that will throw a kink into my plans and i may well just opt for a section at that point, well see.

2. If i have the go ahead for a regular birth, then the only real restrictions are that i have to have an IV or an IV port, the babies have to be monitored at all times, ie, no WATER :-( and i THINK thats it... I don't have to deliver in the OR. There WILL be a minimum of 5 people present, which is a bummer but it makes sense. not ideal but i can manage.

3. Babies are looking good, both hearts still beating! one is on my left side, (B) and one is on my right.. they are both currently head down! so if they can stay put another 15 weeks or so i'm good to go :-)


So overall, a very positive experience. I feel a lot of peace about the whole thing... OH one bit of bad news. The office person that told me my 1 hour test blood sugar was fine was wrong. it was slightly elevated, so they sent me home with a blood tester, and so far so good! i just have to track my blood sugars for a couple days and call them in, which itself is a good sign, the dr. isn't making me take a 3hr test yet, so YAY!!

I think that's it! I'd totally appreciate continued prayer.. still have a lot on my mind, and i'll feel MUCH better next week after my 2 ultrasounds, vaginal and regular to see how my cervix is doing. I've been having a fair amount of cramping but its hard to tell what is normal creakyness and what is a real concern.

:-)
rebecca

Family of origin issues.

Why is it that being pregnant, birth, and the like have SUCH an effect of directing one's thought toward family of origin? For me, this is really HARD. My mother basically told me she didn't want anything to do with me, when i refused to have any kind of relationship with my stepfather who has molested me since i was a baby. I had recently told her, and she called me a liar, until he admitted it to her, and that didn't change anything. I got back in contact with her a few years ago... when Anna was a baby. Rather, i got in contact with my Grandma, and my mother called me to yell at me and "how dare you talk to your grandma" me, and despite that, we had a couple of non-heated email conversations until she just ignored me. My grandma's number was changed and i've not yet been able to find her. Not sure if that was intentional, for my benefit, or just kind of in the swing of things. Anyway, my mother, she's never made any attempt whatsoever to even MEET her grandchildren, she just plain doesn't care. And that GETS me. I don't understand that. I'm a mom, and that would absolutely KILL me. The thing is, i KNOW i have absolutely ZERO fault in the whole scenario, and how often can you really say that truthfully? Basically this is me being beaten over the head by her and it doesn't ever seem to go AWAY! Especially now, just about everyone asks if i have family coming up to help with the babies, and how they wouldn't have survived their twins' first few months without help, and i have to say, NOPE, don't have any. And that's not entirely true. Andy's dad is going to come up this summer sometime, for his annual visit, and he's AWESOME, he's just such a positive and NICE guy. We've really loved how our relationship with Danny has blossomed and how we've gotten to know him and he's gotten to know our children! MUCH more than any of our other parents. NOW, that's not to insult andy's OTHER dad, LONG story, LOL but he's only had a few years to get to know us, another long story, and he and his wife are SUPER busy and yet they still make time to come up to visit at least every other year. And we talk to them on the phone and they are SUPPORTIVE. Now, if only the mother situation was that good. Things are spotty with Andy's mom. Not NEARLY as crazy as with my mom, but not great, that's for sure. Especially when i'm pregnant. She doesn't like that at ALL- never has, and that ticks me off in a big way. WHY would it be so hard to just support us????? i'm not talking about paying our bills or watching our kids every week for a date night, or even coming up for a couple of weeks when we have our twins, heck, i'd be happy with just positive words. Just something better than "well, guess you'll have to get back to the real world" when andy mentioned that we'd have to have a hospital birth. I mean, COME ON! That is a BIG deal to me, BIG. how hard would it be to have just a little sensitivity. I mean WHY THE HECK is it SO FREAKING HARD to have a LITTLE bit of support for us in our time of need. And be sure, it IS our time of need! My whole world is practically upturned and i feel like we are ON OUR OWN. Now that's not exactly true. I have a GREAT bunch of friends, my local MOPS group is AWESOME, i mean really, no comparison, I just discovered a twins support group in Tacoma! Things SHOULD be good, but i just can't get past the idea that our MOTHERS should BE there for us!!!! Maybe that's just me, becuase when something is lacking in life, God totally provides some kind of substitute. But it still smarts. And i really wish things could be different.

What's new

I have to share! I am SO excited. Andy is off work for 11 days, and we are going to be cleaning and organizing! wooohoo! I'm supposed to be taking it easy, so i've been making the kiddos do all the grunt work, but it will be SO nice to have a GROWN UP here to help! So far, i've moved leif's dresser into the boys room, in the one remaining teeny tiny spot for it! and then i set up the new drawers for the babies, in my closet, it fits nicely. we still have lots of cleaning in my room to do, still need to set up the crib, which we probably don't need to do for a while but since he's on vacation this week, its probably not a bad idea, we have a LOT LOT LOT of decluttering to do! and hopefully finding some homeschool stuff to sell in the homeschool sale that i'm doing next month in May. Shouldn't be hard! I'm sick of my house being a mess, and i'm thinking if we can drastically declutter, it will be easier to maintain, ESSENTIAL if i end up on full bedrest. So... we'll see! hoping to post some pics later of my nice clean space!!! off to dinner and church! Hope you all have a blessed Easter!
Rebecca

The last week's insanity

So, Last thursday, i had an alarming visit from my landlord... long story short, i told him that we were having twins, and he was NOT impressed. To say the least. I couldn't quite get out of him whether he was upset enough to kick us out, we are on a month to month lease, which means he COULD legally boot us with 20 days notice, which for us, would be instant homelessness. It sounded BAD though, so that night we went out to Round Table to let the kids play games, have pizza and have grown up discussion time/space. So we came up with a plan and decided to have Andy call our landlord Saturday... sooo... i went through all of Friday, completely freaked out and crying almost all day (can you see a theme here, NO clue what's up with all the crying) So Saturday, he called and was told in no uncertain terms that he would NEVER do that, and he was not the kind of man who would put almost 7 children out on the street (YAY!!!!) it really left me wondering WHY Andy has so much better luck talking to people than i do!! I mean, i'm the oratorically gifted one of us, NO comparison. I wonder if being female is THAT much of a liability. ANYWAY, it seems that hurdle is jumped, and we can at least move on and not worry about being HOMELESS. YAY!

So then saturday we also went to lowes and did our annual no interest, no payments for a year trip, bought some drawers for Leif and the twins, bought an AMAZING CUSHIE rug for our living room and another lamp table for the living room, then i was up till like 1230 cleaning and stuff... but our living room looks nice.

SO... next order of business, on Sunday we got to pick up our crib from Teresa in Renton! (Thanks teresa!!!!) She volunteered to give it to us when i first posted to the HSA list about how wigged out i was about the whole twin thing, and that was a NICE load off, just one less thing to worry about! not only that but its a super NICE crib, and IKEA one! LOOOVE ikea... i could totally buy all our furniture at IKEA, IF i could buy all our furniture at IKEA! LOL so that's awesome. I'm eagerly looking forward to garage sale season to seek out some baby stuff, totally pregnant at the perfect time for that, provided these little guys stay IN!

YESTERDAY was so beautiful out and today too, we actually did our schoolwork on the front lawn. I noticed it was a LOT harder to have my laying down in bed time, (a significant amount each day that i'm supposed to be doing now) So i guess i'll need to have prescribed front yard time for everyone so i can watch them and then just make them stay in the back the rest of the day that they want to be outside....

I'm having REAL issues with keeping the house clean right now.. i need to declutter BADLY, not easy right now... and NO one listens to me! i'm so grateful at the end of the day when ANDY gets home because he commands respect in a way that i don't think i ever could. I really need to work on character training before the baby comes... NOT to mention getting Leif to sleep in his OWN bed... sigh.. he's such a snugglebug...

Over and out-
R